We should absolutely strive to be better people, but not perfect people.
Blogs have a habit of creating this perfect life illusion but remember behind every glossy image is many hours of mooching about in trackies with messy hair and imperfect skin. When I write these kinds of “life advice” posts I want them to reflect reality, not fantasy. I’ve read plenty of lifestyle posts educating us on how improve ourselves or just sprouting a whole heap of “love and light” mumbo jumbo. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes these posts are just what we need, that pick me up or gentle reminder to achieve more and reach further. We should absolutely strive to be better people, but not perfect people.
What I want to say is IT IS OK not to be perfect. Sometimes (actually quite often) I’m grumpy, unmotivated, feisty or temperamental. These are not my favourite characteristics but they are a part of me and IT IS OK.
I got thinking about this after a recent incident where I let my less restrained side get the better of me. I mentioned in my last Thoughts of the Month post I recently put my flat on the market. After being online for a couple weeks I got an out of the blue phone call from the estate agent who initially sold it to me.
At this stage it is worth noting she is nothing short of a bully and made the whole process of buying my first home miserable. I sussed her character out fairly early, so worked hard to keep her on side. However, it all went downhill when I requested a four week completion. She went mad, sending nasty email after nasty email. In hindsight, I should have stood my ground but as a naive first time buyer and terrified of losing the flat of my dreams I bent over backwards to ensure every demand was met putting my stress levels and finances in jeopardy. Even my middle age, male solicitor who is use to bolshie estate agents, referred to her as a “terrifying pitbull”.
Suddenly here she was being sweeter than pie rambling on and on about how she loved what I’d done with the place. My blood began to boil. I was bought back to reality when she said “I was wondering if we’d be able to do you a better deal then the current estate agent you’re using and put the flat on the books with us instead?” I couldn’t help myself and fired back I would NEVER use her after her disgusting behaviour before slamming the phone down and muttering copious levels of profanity to myself. This was all made slightly worse by the fact this happened in my silent office in earshot of everyone.
After I calmed down I was left a little embarrassed by my outburst. I should have held it together in front of my colleagues and taken the high road. I’m not really a big public outburst sort of person but on the occasion I do lose my tether, I’m always mortified later wishing I could have been more collected, articulate and calm to the core. Then it dawned on me, sod it… IT IS OK! I lost it with someone who deserved a few home truths and as for my colleagues well they’ll forget in time.
So to finish, I am telling you all IT IS OK to be a bitch (sometimes). Don’t stamp out your imperfections and don’t let anyone ever make you feel that being yourself is less than OK. IT IS OK… to be you!